


Polaroid of Cool Kids

by CatKidJen



Category: The Flash (TV 1990), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Anger, Childhood Memories, F/M, Foster Care, Parkour, Running, Running Away, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-08
Updated: 2018-01-08
Packaged: 2019-03-01 22:57:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13305123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatKidJen/pseuds/CatKidJen
Summary: Axel's out of Iron Heights, he knows that he has to actually find himself before he can find his family-Well in this case, his mother.





	Polaroid of Cool Kids

**Author's Note:**

> One. Yes the title is from Polaroid by Imagine Dragons and Cool Kids by Echosmith.  
> Two. I did waste my day reading Fanfiction and plotting this.  
> Three. Those are two songs I haven't heard in a while but if they aren't Axel friggin Walker-Jesse-WhateverYouWannaCallHim I don't know what is

_Vault, wall run, drop._

These words are the one thing that help you escape both Iron Heights and Central City's police. And now they're just helping him run.

Axel's been in need of a break for a while but he doesn't realize it should be today. He's running. Running from the Rogues and The Flash. Hartley damned Rathaway had to go and make that comment about foster kids needing shrinks.

Axel's had  _three._ It started with his first foster home. Due to records in the foster care system whoever tried to adopt him knows who he is, where he came from, who his parents are and where they came from. He still remembers his foster father number one from when he was ten.

* * *

 _"Too much like his dad."_ Apparently when a ten year old tries to make some type of poison with his foster mother's perfumes and lotions, he gets this sentence. All he wanted to do was try and defend himself against the bullies. That's what his foster parents _and_  parents said to do, to defend himself. So that's all he was doing. So what if it almost caused some sort of deadly fume in the house and a tiny explosion in the backyard? (Okay, it wasn't tiny, he caught a tree on fire.)

But after a few times of this happening his foster father thought it was a great idea for little Jesse Junior to go see a therapist. Of course Axel isn't proud of needing a shrink. He's proud of being crazy enough but he isn't proud of needing a shrink.

  _ **Appointment One**_

Axel's sitting in a chair he moved to the corner and he's just innocently cuddling a teddy bear the shrink gave him. "Now," the woman spoke. "Why are you here?"

"Mister Michaels says I need a friend who will make sure I don't hurt the kids." Axel mumbles behind the bears ears.

"Do you always call your dad-"

"Not my dad."

"Right, do you always call Grant by his last name?"

Axel's little blonde head nods and the woman seemingly accepts it because she writes it down. Axel's hoping she's just drawing but deep down he knows this all is going on record and people will know what's happening. "Why do you?" Axel glances over at  _'Mister Michaels'_ and promptly looks back at his shrink. 

"Because he isn't my real dad and he won't tell me who my real dad is. Neither will Mrs. Michaels." The shrink nods and looks back at Michaels. 

"And why won't you tell him?"

"My wife and I don't believe he needs to know. Not at this age. He imagines his real parents all the time and looks up to them."

"And is there something wrong with that?" 

"His father.. isn't the best person."

Axel's head tilts behind the teddy bear but he hides it with adjusting the bears bowtie. 

"Uh-huh." She looks back at Axel with a look that mixed pity and somberness. "Axel? Can I call you that?"

Axel nods, not taking his eyes off his bear.

"What do you think your real parents look like?"

Axel starts to smile at the thought of his parents. He has such a fantasy built with them. "Well. It can't be possible for me to be blonde and my parents not to be. So at least one of them is. Probably my dad. He's probably really smart and cool. He probably looks like Luke Skywalker. Or at least that's what I think."

 _Children._ Michaels mouths, soon earning a glare from the boy.

"As for my mom. I think she's really pretty. Probably has blonde or red hair. Blue eyes of course. And she probably looks like that one lady.. Samantha... Brown? I think that's her name."

"That would be correct." His shrink smiles, she's never heard such a description. She's heard kids wishing their parents were people like Luke Skywalker or Han Solo, but never such a combination of people. Axel's smile widens and he's happy with his answer, and then--

* * *

 

The memory ends with that. Axel can't remember anything else from that visit. He didn't spend too much longer with that foster family. But the thought still makes him smile. He feels less whole, so he keeps running the rooftops. The sky is darkening. Probably rain.

* * *

Axel's fifteen in this memory. It's a couple weeks before the letters start coming in. He's angry with this foster family. They think things that's happened to him at highschool was his doing to someone else. He nearly broke an arm once because of some football player. And he got a couple black eyes. He's begun not to care. He just wants to study, finish his homework, and continue drawing his family. His what was perfect family. But not today. After school his foster father tells him to get ready to go. Go where? Axel just listens. He puts on his button down shirt and his bomber jacket, assuming that it's appropriate dressing considering his father didn't say  _dress nicely._ Before he exits his room he pauses. He looks at his dresser, on top of it is a necklace with a simple "T" on it he had in an envelope. The envelope had said  _"A JR J. Don't Open Until Fifteen"_ That's what it said so he automatically assumed fifteen years old. And he must've been correct. His hand hovers over the necklace for a few moments before he grips it and takes it. He puts it on while going down the stairs.

His foster father believes that the necklace makes him look like a girl. He doesn't honestly care if it's from his real family. 

_**Appointment Two** _

Axel sits quietly in a chair in front of a table beside his foster parents. He's got a sketch pad with him and a pencil. He's furiously drawing something and after a few minutes of the angry scribbling his foster mother asks what he's doing. He promptly turns the sketch pad to face her.

It's a drawing of a crime scene. And it looked accurate to a crime scene.

As far as his foster parents know he hasn't seen a crime scene. 

He turns it back to himself and continues drawing before--

"---Walker?" The therapist asks. Axel quickly stands up and slides his pencil into his sketch pad. He walks up to the door with his foster parents on a somewhat loose follow. As they enter the room, he waits for his shrink to enter, like a gentleman should, then sits down in a chair by a window and opens his sketch pad again. His foster parents sit down and then his shrink speaks.

"Is there anything you'd like to say before I start asking questions?"

  
"He says I'm too much like my real dad." Axel says with a slight edge.

  
"Really? How so?" The woman asks, clicking her pen open.

"Apparently I'm somewhat bipolar. Angry all the time-- which. I have a question for you regarding this statement- If you were falsely accused of something you'd be mad too right?"

"If I was accused of it multiple times, then yes." She replies.

Axel shoots a glare followed by a smirk to his foster father, then he looks back down and sketches.

"Is that all?"

"Oh I'm so sorry! I got distracted from my words. He claims that just because there's a gun in the house doesn't mean that I'm obligated to use it on the tree in the backyard, which yes has caught on fire and caught the garage on fire." Axel says.

"Yeah, because you also decided to play with matches."

Axel raises his hand as though saying he was in the room. "Guilty."

"How often have you used the gun?"

"It's a Glock so obviously not that much." Axel says, chuckling a bit.

"I've got a Glock because it's easy to use." His foster father says.

"To you."

"Do you have to have an attitude all the time."

"Christ, Larry! Of course I do. I wanna be like my father don't I?!" Axel's sudden outburst and his raised voice causes the room to go silent except for the sound of pen on paper. His shrink is amazed and is writing the entire incident down. 

"Do you feel like you have any trouble expressing yourself?" The woman asks and Axel's surprised his foster mother hasn't said anything. Yet.

"Little bit." Axel pulls his necklace from under his shirt and allows his shrink enough time to see it. "Because of this I apparently look like a girl." Axel hides it under his shirt again and huffs. "I also am not allowed to go to Hot Topic due to the fact I tend to get.. racey? clothing and bracelets that I shouldn't be according to Lawrence." Axel shrugs. "But y'know, I guess punk rock is also banned in that house."

"You don't like referring to any of this as yours do you?"

"I once tried to stab the next door neighbor because he was being a dick to his daughter."

"Axel, please watch your language." His mother mutters.

"Sorry, Sophia I didn't realize that I couldn't talk. I'll shut up after the session." Axel hisses.

"You tried to stab your neighbor?" 

"Who the hell hits a woman? Oh I'm sorry, Larry. I'm not counting you in this."

His shrink turns her head to face the older man and she and Axel can see he's digging his nails into the leather chair because he realizes this is now about _him._ Axel stifles a laugh before returning to his sketch pad.

"By the way I actually have idols. It's not worshipping or an obsession it's looking up to and loving." Axel mumbles.

"Mister Walker.." His shrink begins but is interrupted by Axel's anger again.

"Y'know what? Is that even my name? My envelope says 'A JR J". That's my initials except for the second J. So tell me, pops. What's my real name?"

"I took a vow never to say."

"Right.. sure. Or maybe I'm just too much like my dad."

"Axel.." His foster mother says again.

"Shut up. You lost your right to try and talk to me when you cheated." Axel growls.

"You what-?!"

"Axel James!"

"That's my friggin name, don't wear it out!"

* * *

 

Axel's snapped out of the memory as the rain catches his boot and makes his slip. His leather covered hands gripped onto the ledge of the roof as he takes a sharp inhale. He tries to push himself up with his boots but it's not seeming to work. He glances down and it's about a four hundred feet to the ground. He looks back up at the ledge and realizes that the warm rain on his face is not rain it's tears. He sighs. He tries to connect his foot with the wall again but it's still not working. He doesn't want to call for help but he knows that sometimes it's needed. He waits for a moment. About to shout he suddenly feels hard wind dragging him away and he's back on the ground, safe.  _Guardian angel?_ He thinks of the angels his real father talked about when he was five. Saying they guide your way and protect you. So maybe he does have one.

He might as well go home.

And leave these memories behind.

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
